Page 16 - Amarillo Senior Link Magazine Fall 2019- Online Magazine

HONORING SENIORS

A Time To Grieve

by Cindy Rowley

One of the greatest privileges clock!” Her brain had shut
I have is to sit and visit with down.
family members who have
just experienced the death of It is important to recognize
a loved one. It doesn’t matter and remember that
if the death was anticipated disorientation is a normal
because of a lengthy illness physiological response to
or if the loss was sudden your loss. You should try
and totally unexpected, not to expect quite so much
death hurts and leaves the of yourself as you typically
remaining family reeling. would. In other words, give
yourself some grace and cut
In our time together, I share yourself some slack. And
with the family some of the do the same for your family
conditions that seem to be members who have just gone
experienced by most people through the same loss.
at a time such as this.
Secondly, God gave you tear
The first thing I share is ducts for a reason. Crying
that, when you go through is perfectly normal and,
a loss of a loved one, your most often, needed at a time
brain is in a bit of a shock. like this. Grief demands a
Something has happened response, and crying is a
that is not normal for you, healthy way to respond.
and this event is not usually When my dad died, I had
welcomed. Your brain might a very wise friend offer me
go into defensive mode to comfort and counsel. She had
try to protect you from this been through a loss of her
trauma. Confused thinking own and shared the wisdom
and even a little memory of her experience with
loss are common experiences me. She said, “Grief is like
when someone you love dies. driving down the highway
When my dad died, we came in your car. A song comes on
home from the hospital in a that jars you, or a memory
state of shock even though hits you hard. Sometimes
he had been hospitalized for you are able to take a deep
10 days. My mom went to breath and allow a few tears
get ready for bed but then to slip down your face, but
returned to the den where I other times you need to turn
was sitting. She was holding on your blinker, pull to the
her alarm clock in her hands side of the road and turn off
and suddenly burst into tears your car to have a good cry.”
and said, “I can’t even set my

16 Amarillo Senior Link